Dear sweetness of life

Whispering to me as I walk by

Pirouettes of memories

held by my silent mind

Yet this insane urge

to break through it all

Keeps me coming back

to discover your true face

 

Shadows come by…

Cowering with fear

I somehow get by

But yet in those moments

When I am still

Dissolving like warm vapor

In the cool morning breeze

I find a strength no one talks about

To transform it all

Into a glittering pool of light

 

Rainbows here and a balloon of a cloud

Held together as strings

with the body of a fiddle

Playing a harmony I’ve often heard

But a new version that realigns

A different semantic everytime

“Yes I’m coming back”,

I hear me say, to a lover left behind…

 

It’s his presence

In an infinite mind

that holds a wide space…

Now a tidal wave splashes all across

To leave me only emptiness –

with a speck of his love

To dot the landscape

And as I watch…

It was just a gaze settled humbly

Oh the sweetness of life…

Beckoning me from the other side.

I follow the rules of fashion

And the insensitive contracts of a corporation

And when MS-Word changes its dictionary

I obey and quietly change my childhood grammar.

I wonder, smoking outside my window

If twenty years later any of them would exist

I wonder, if they die faster than I,

then why do I care about them so much, beyond my own life?

I am on auto-pilot, now waking up out of routine

I am trying to be what my dreams urge me to be

And yet there are times I exhale and forget,

Switch back to an old theory of how I must wait for fate.

I am not a boat moored out

gazing at some beacon afar

I wonder, putting out my flatscreen

If twenty years later I want to find myself

On a couch more modest than the one I am on

Still waiting to be rescued, from my own laze?

Looking good, she talks well,

her mind is obstinate and she’s curious as a child

All of this they say of me, but I still wait to impress…

myself in all this vague search for something to connect

searching for magic in this world split apart

one preaching the pleasure of forbidden in tones of sin

one breathing life into the death it has been.

I can reach for my large circle

of tweets and statuses only to grope

at something outside me that fades

faster than the arid, cold nights

I’ve stood battling in my head

At the door of closure I’m afraid to let go

Searching for magic outside my fake colors

I am just whispering in the nude

Wanting to feel the bare skin on my back,

as I rest myself against the same window

As twenty years ago…

With the lights passing by…

exposed to the damp wind that blows out my fire

the streetlights finally fuse…

And I turn away, searching for magic…

Inside.