I dreamt last night I lived by the ocean

In a huge mansion atop a cliff

With strong winds and seas shaking its glass frames

I could feel the rattle and I was scared

Scared to look at the ocean that lay so bare

So naked in all its glory that I shuddered

Though I was with my lover

My arms were bare…

My feet empty…

Neither did the house feel mine,

Nor did I have the courage to face the sea

I wanted to leave…but I felt trapped…

by my own sorrow to leave the loved one behind

He didn’t need me I know…

But far in the corner of my mind I was afraid…

who was I if not for him?

He had clothed me and put food on my plate…

Though he dearly loved me I felt “kept”…

My Spirit flew like a ghost howling all around the house…

It was not the winds really but this everlasting spirit

Which beckoned me to go yonder…

Told me I didn’t need to belong here…

I whispered back, “Hearts would break if I now left”

And it simply howled away

back to the oceans from where it came

Leaving me to figure out my own way

I knew I wanted to turn to the sea…

To be done in by its eternal charms…

To be free as a nomad with a life

That could turn any minute into dust…

Rather than letting it corrode to rust…

Living in the set limits of unbroken hearts

I wished for courage with a silent tear of longing

I slept away.

I dreamt tonight I was walking in water

In a sea of raging waves that was mother to me

Wading through bejeweled corals

I had nothing on me to protect me

I had let go of the shame that had clothed me so long

I had let go of the safety of another’s love

That had for so long bound my feet

I opened my mouth and only bubbles came out

And I realised I didn’t know any language

But the one that raced chariots of thoughts

In my mind…

I was alone. I was unattached. There were no signs, no roads.

Just whereever it was I wanted to go.

I seemed to have freefallen…

I seemed to have let go…

And just as I was about to ask “How…”,

I saw a flash that my feet were no more…

There was just a fishtail instead…

I was awake.